Wondering when is takinga toll on me
exhausting my eyes and ramping up my heart
the sky is so much brighter now
songs are so much sadder
we are better off this way
its my worst nightmare
to live without you as mine
but over time i have realized
that this is what you want
here, take it, its already broken!
----my heart was torn when i wrote this due to the love of my life starting to date a new girl but looking back at it i realize that this is just one small step closer to my happiness in the love department i am only grownign from experience to experience.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
old diary writing from 09-25-06
These times where the world is perfect can be changed in a split
second. everything is grand and then there is a dent in your car and your
record is now amazingly damaged again. you look to the authority
in disgust becasue of one of their teamates is making your life hell.
maybe its when the love of your life has sex with a one night stand
when he just lost his virginity three weeks ago. you feel like everything
is better than you ever imagined and then there is a crash into your perfect world.
Life has never been perfect but when you didnt know what was happening in your surrounding
thats when things seemed perfect. when moms and dads loved each other
true love was destined
money was no issue, alcohol and drugs werent even existance,
car wrecks werennt possible without a license.
now days i see the real world and i usually love it but today it feels
as if its against me and i cant escape the past and move on.
tommorrow ill be ok but for now im gone to mope about this horrible world
that most wish they didnt exist in, but for me its different
i wish more could exist in this world with me and make it more perfect.
no need for selfsih killers there needs to be more lovers that have gone and pastaway and
less of those who take lives away.
those who wont let people move on and get their life on track.
if thats what the law wants then why not let me keep on going wiht my right track
maybe i can start a trend, i helped a best friend out of his deathbed, how come they cant see the good in that
second. everything is grand and then there is a dent in your car and your
record is now amazingly damaged again. you look to the authority
in disgust becasue of one of their teamates is making your life hell.
maybe its when the love of your life has sex with a one night stand
when he just lost his virginity three weeks ago. you feel like everything
is better than you ever imagined and then there is a crash into your perfect world.
Life has never been perfect but when you didnt know what was happening in your surrounding
thats when things seemed perfect. when moms and dads loved each other
true love was destined
money was no issue, alcohol and drugs werent even existance,
car wrecks werennt possible without a license.
now days i see the real world and i usually love it but today it feels
as if its against me and i cant escape the past and move on.
tommorrow ill be ok but for now im gone to mope about this horrible world
that most wish they didnt exist in, but for me its different
i wish more could exist in this world with me and make it more perfect.
no need for selfsih killers there needs to be more lovers that have gone and pastaway and
less of those who take lives away.
those who wont let people move on and get their life on track.
if thats what the law wants then why not let me keep on going wiht my right track
maybe i can start a trend, i helped a best friend out of his deathbed, how come they cant see the good in that
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
First Day of college 2007
Ground Breaking Love
"Tender is the night,.." when you relaize how in love you are.
The air outside is a few degrees colder when your this in love.
not many people wait to find it, they just rush into certain parts
and make the magic happen.
A person can know all along that they have met that "one person"
but then that "one person" has other feelings.
this is something that can kill ones soul, and soemtimes
end ones being.
Yes, its very sad and scary, but what can we do
to acoid the pain and frustration?
Nothing, everyone will fall in Love
and axperience this hypnotic feeling at least once
Everything appears different toa person in this state of comma.
its very noticable if you look to see it. Either their eyes have a brighter twinkle or
they just smile like in a daydream of wild flowers.
this powerful love can control ones body and soul.
Everyone has their ups and downs but
being down on love is the worst.
everyone has that first love,
but when you realize you werent theirs
is when the buildings collapse.
the twinkle turns to tears and
the wonderful love that mended your heart
is now gone.
the first time heartbreak.
Cold air overtakes your body in the winter.
their is noone there to cuddle up to,
noone that helps this torn feeling.
you feel like it will never be just "you and him"
it will never sound right to say he broke your heart,
because truely he is the only thing still in it.
he doesnt miss you that way at all,
he feels no remorse.
Love stabs you in the heart
multiple times throughout life, but
" The first cut is the deepest"
-shelley mcgraw
"Tender is the night,.." when you relaize how in love you are.
The air outside is a few degrees colder when your this in love.
not many people wait to find it, they just rush into certain parts
and make the magic happen.
A person can know all along that they have met that "one person"
but then that "one person" has other feelings.
this is something that can kill ones soul, and soemtimes
end ones being.
Yes, its very sad and scary, but what can we do
to acoid the pain and frustration?
Nothing, everyone will fall in Love
and axperience this hypnotic feeling at least once
Everything appears different toa person in this state of comma.
its very noticable if you look to see it. Either their eyes have a brighter twinkle or
they just smile like in a daydream of wild flowers.
this powerful love can control ones body and soul.
Everyone has their ups and downs but
being down on love is the worst.
everyone has that first love,
but when you realize you werent theirs
is when the buildings collapse.
the twinkle turns to tears and
the wonderful love that mended your heart
is now gone.
the first time heartbreak.
Cold air overtakes your body in the winter.
their is noone there to cuddle up to,
noone that helps this torn feeling.
you feel like it will never be just "you and him"
it will never sound right to say he broke your heart,
because truely he is the only thing still in it.
he doesnt miss you that way at all,
he feels no remorse.
Love stabs you in the heart
multiple times throughout life, but
" The first cut is the deepest"
-shelley mcgraw
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
cottages
Me and my roomate are moving into a new cottage behind Mugshots in auigust i cant wait it is like a little dream home. They are all in different colors and we get to name it what ever we please. We contimplated on many different names and settled with "Sugar Magnolia"...i love it. We are adding a roommate to our lives her name is Lori and she is a good friend from home. We love her so much and i think she is going to be my new party buddy. She is very laid back. She likes outdoors which is perfect for me because i need a cmaping partner and a canoeing partner. She is dating a good friend of ours also. the cottage is the perfect size for us and it is on a lake and i cant explain my excitement. I got to pick which cottage we got becaue lauren didnt care about its location she just wanted one in general ha. We cant wait to have a red rocking chairs on our screened in pourch and our plants hanging from the ceilings. We are decorating in yellows and browns and blues and red i cant wait. We all get our own bathrooms which is a awesome plus.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
