phishys

I am obssessed with fish and i love to watch them swim around in their own little world of water. If i could live underwater i would. My favoriter view is underneath the water in a pool or in the ocean with goggles. I wish i could swim around in the ocean and enjjoy the beauty of the corals ont he sea floor. I went ot petsmart today and bought a fish, a beta fish and names it PHISH after the band phish i love them. PHISH is bright purple and blue almost neon. He doesnt swim much but when you tape on the glass he gets mad and puffs up so you can see all of his colors and every strand on his tail. I put him in a small vase and added things that i have collected over the years. I have a seashell that is form my best friend Julia in the tank and i have rocks from many places i have been in the past. I collect rocks pretty much every where i go. I have red and brown and white ones covering the bottom of the vase. Then their is a metal butterfly that i kept in my car for many years but i broke so i put it in the vase. It means alot to me.

I cry

I miss him so much my soul aches
my stomach turns over everytime i see long brown hair
I think of him looking at her with passion
I cry
Today was a realization that i will go on
the world is not going to wait on me
to get back on track
Love is true Love is Fake
so much to say but heartach overtakes
I cry
Come Back to me inthe past ill say
take me away
Come Back to me today i dont know what to say
take your space and let me hurt
ill make it either way
I WANT you back in my life
fully in your heart is were i belong
I cry
i wait and will wait till you realize
im the best soulmate you will ever find
I cry

wonderful poem

"How can one continue loving a drunkwho makes their lives just like hell?How can one continue living a liethinking they'll one day get well?Why is it we stay with these sad oneswho can't see the err of their ways?Why is it we put up with so muchsome days is it us that are crazed?We want them to quit, surely we doit's not up to us, they're in control;drinking their lives into the groundtaking us with them, body and soul.We make excuses, cover their trailsenable the disease to progress;let's halt it now, or forever stopwe've got to make it regress.We can't stop you drinking, only you canmake it better for all those concerned;quit while we're still a family,before we all leave ' cause we're burned.Love changes to pity, you're alonewe can't live with you any more;for the sanity of all involvedwe're kicking you out through the door"-Erika Foley

note to mr right

Dear ___________

I think of you as the best person in my life. You mean the world to me. I dont know why I cant be happy for you moving on with other girls. I know that i should be but it hurts me more than you can imagine. I look at you and i feel my eyes light up. You seem so right for me, why dont you see it? I feel like you are poking at my heart with a needle. im starting to think that true love doesnt exist anymore. you know me so well, so i know you understand that im hurting. you dont ever help it though, you run from me when you think im upset. i cant do this with questions in my head anymore. i want you to tell me if it is over, tell me straight up. i know you think it will hurt but i will get over it. its better for me to start healing now than to live another day believing i will be with you and only you one day.
I Love You,
Shelley